Wow. Am I dealing with insomnia. I get so tired I'm ready to pass out and then when I lay down to sleep I can't doze off. So here I am at 3am. Hopefully writing down my thoughts will help.
I'm thinking about:
#1. Childbirth. I'm 23 weeks pregnant with baby # two. I wonder whether or not my pelvis will be measured as being adequate so that they'll let me try for a VBAC. I have a great distrust for medical professionals right now and I'm scared I'll be robbed of what birth experience I want. I want desperately to be healed of my last experience with my C-section. I am a part of the International Cesarean Awareness Network (ICAN)'s yahoo mailing list.
#2. My daughter. I feel like I'm failing at this stay-at-home-mom (SAHM) thing often and I keep thinking I need to get out of the house, but I don't want anyone else to raise my daughter.
#3. Finances. We don't have enough money to cover all our bills. All except for one, I guess. But that's a big one. I wonder if it's destroyed our credit. $ is so tight I never thought I could spend so little. Sometimes it's really frustrating. The good news is we got a roof over our heads, food, and we haven't gone into the negative in our bank account. So God is providing.
#4. Church. I feel so disconnected right now. I need to fellowship with others to get out of my own little world. I wonder if we can start doing that.
I think that encompasses my thoughts.
Saturday, February 2, 2008
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